I can remember the first time I highlighted three pages of manuscript, and then held a shaky finger over the delete button. What a waste of time… Actually, it was an opportunity for me to make a decision about the direction of my story. If I had been too afraid to delete that portion, and start the chapter fresh, it would have limited my story’s potential. Since then, I have become quite immune to highlighting and deleting. Rather, I find it freeing to slough off the unnecessary that keeps the storyline from soaring forward. I no longer look at deleted words as wasted time, but a natural part of the process of becoming a better communicator and storyteller. More words come, better words. I’m learning to sail my ship.
I’m trying to learn to look at life that way. To not be afraid of wrong turns. If I persist in something that I know isn’t the right direction, I am limiting the potential of my life story. Or perhaps worse, if I never start a path because I’m not positive of the outcome, the story won’t even begin. I’m a perfectionist, or rather, I prefer to think of myself as a recovering perfectionist. I have an irrational fear of attempting things that I’m not positive I can achieve.
I write because it makes my soul feel happy in the world, because I believe it is something God has called me to do, but I also write because it scares me to death. If it simultaneously makes my soul feel happy and scares me to death, I’m convinced I’m on the right track.
My goal for this week? T-minus 1 day until I leave for ACFW writer’s conference. SO, it’s time for me to let my work and preparation for this particular goal settle, and rest in the fact that the Lord will do whatever he wants with me and my writing. I’ve done my part to the best of my ability. How much more faithful is God to finish a work he has started in me than I am? His plan probably looks nothing like the scenarios I have imagined. And that’s okay. He has my growth in mind, and His glory.
Have a great day, and do something that will help grow you towards the dream God has put in your heart. I’ll try to keep you all updated on my little adventure this week, perhaps a video on the Facebook Page as a change of pace :).