You Decided to Change Your Life But Then…

You hit the proverbial brick wall.

Last week I discussed the key reason why “people never change.” I used a cute little analogy about how I’ve decided to give some things up in order to be stronger physically. I talked about how this applies to all change. The soreness, the initial fatigue, and then how as you persevere you get stronger, gain energy, and that the sacrifice becomes worth it. I talked about how much better I felt after a few weeks.

I had a sweet little marriage post planned for today, but I guess God wanted me to say something else.

Want to guess what I am doing right now? Ms. I Can Take On The World I Feel Like A Million Bucks is sitting on the couch at 10:24 pm with ice on her sore ankle struggling to hold her weary head up.

I hit a wall tonight. It took every ounce of my energy just to keep my body in correct form, much less try to complete my reps. To add insult to injury, my ankle had a funny twinge to it, bringing back memories of old gymnastics aches and pains. I guess joints don’t forget their past either. I felt really pathetic, physically weak– a different person than I was the night before. As much as I wanted to call it quits, I kept going. Doing what I could do to the best of my ability today. It wasn’t pretty. My head knew that if I was moving, I was winning. BUT emotionally I was floundering.

The real question is, will I let how awful I felt tonight determine how I will workout tomorrow? I need to make an honest assessment of what my body needs, of course. A day of rest? A light workout? To push through? Any one of those might be appropriate, but I have to make sure my choice isn’t based on dreading the difficult moments.

I cannot fear the wall, or let it cause me to doubt. Because if I’m not careful, I can turn around and give up the ground I’ve gained.

So, my change-seeking friends, those of you who have decided to give something up whether it be giving up continuously revisiting the emotional scars that had held sway over your life for too long, or co-dependant behaviors, or fear of failure. Whatever it is, I am writing to you to let you know that there will come a time when you will hit a wall.

Your heart will tremble. You’ll wonder where that strong empowered person that was emerging has suddenly escaped to. You’ll question if that thing you gave up was really worth the struggle, and if you’ve lost the ground you gained.

Not every day in the change journey is a mountaintop experience, even after you’ve gotten through those tough early stages. It is hills and valleys all along the way. Change-seekers, hang on when you hit that wall. Instead of limping in defeat, rest in the knowledge that you’ve reached a new place on the journey.

You might have faltered, failed,  or taken backwards steps.

It’s okay. It’s normal. You might need to go about things in a different way. Seek God’s wisdom. Take a moment to reassess. Just don’t give up. No matter how badly you’ve stumbled or taken a wrong turn, God is waiting. You don’t have to run back the whole length you strayed. Just turn around. He’s waiting and ready to help you get back up on your feet. He meets you right where you are at. There is no place too far or so dark that he cannot reach you.

Difficult seasons are just that–seasons–and seasons don’t last forever.

Ha, ha, ha! Guys I literally just laughed out loud. This country song by Rodney Atkins just played in my mind that this little 8-year-old boy I nannied years ago would belt out from the backseat of my ’94 Honda Accord on his way home from school. You don’t know how much this song stayed stuck in my head!

If you’re going through hell
Keep on going, don’t slow down
If you’re scared, don’t show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there

There ya have it folks…keep on walking :). We are the closest to making lasting change when we keep going even when it feels like we’re failing…or flailing…or both. Do not define yourself by your best day or your worst. Define yourself by who God says you are.

And who exactly does God say you are? Hmmm…an idea for a blog post series??