My First Love

firstThough I’ve never been one for resolutions, I do feel a sense of enchantment with the start of every new year. It feels as though I am standing on the edge of the unknown, starting fresh.

My life has felt a little scrambled lately…with the holidays, my travels, and because of the season of life I find myself in.

So, I prayed and asked God to give me a simple place of focus for my life in this brand new year. In the midst of all my running around He impressed on me the importance of keeping close to my heart my first love.

My first love? What does He mean?

Jesus. He loved me first, before the foundations of the universe. Strong. Steadfast. Unmoving. Faithful. Without fault. Our love is sealed. No one can take it from me. It does not depend on season or circumstance.

So my challenge this year is to remember that loving Him, and showing his love to others is my goal. It sounds simple enough, but in the rush of things, other elements of my day can take focus–am I parenting well, teaching well, writing enough, writing the right things, loving my husband well enough, keeping up with household needs, appointments, budgets….the running list on what I need to “do” is always there, lingering in the recesses of my mind.

I’m a girl who could plant myself at the feet of Jesus like Mary…but I live in a Martha world. Things need to be done. Here on earth. Real “life.”

So how to remember and stay close to my first love in the midst of it all?

In my parenting, remembering that I will not always get it right. I’m not supposed to be “enough” for my children. Jesus is. My goal is to show them the way to Him. To love them with the love of Christ to the best of my ability.

As I teach– more important than what my children memorize is instilling a first love of learning.

That when I write, no matter what goals I am working toward, I must hold dear my first love. I write because it stretches me and helps me to become the person I was created to be. I write because it is my favorite way to worship. I cannot lose sight of that in the middle of all the details.

I can not love my husband if I do not remember my First Love. I am not supposed to be “enough” for my husband any more than I am called to be “enough” for my children. My role is to pursue my husband’s heart in the manner that Christ seeks after mine, unconditionally and steadfast. It is because of who Christ is, and what our marriage represents that I press through the difficult days. When both of us are less than lovable.

As I care for the needs of the household, my first love is making sure that my heart is full with joy as I serve. Because everything I put my hand to is an act of worship…if I have the eyes to see it that way.

So, my dear friends, where is your focus this year? What do you need? What is it your heart longs for?

Catch me here on Friday for a fresh Fiction Friday post. I’ll be putting up a book review of For the Record, by Regina Jennings.

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